Belated "Lols"

It's quite late, but I think my April Fool's story is worth telling.

"Why?" You may ask-

Because of hilarity, that's why.

You see, I was Fooled before I could even wake up...

While I was in my peaceful slumbering state, the digital numbers on the clock flicked to 12:00AM. Some time later, I began to dream.

Dream-Ashley was hanging out with some friends in our local town. It was late at night, and the moonlight was reflecting off the lake. It made for an intense romantic atmosphere for Dream-Me and an attractive foreign fellow, who was supposedly tagging along with the friends.

Dream-Me and Foreign-Fellow parted from the group to find a more secluded spot. As we were wandering around, we noticed an old man walking around. We tried to run away, since the old man was evil (Dream Logic). He noticed us before we could hide around a corner, and began chasing us through the streets. Dream-Me and Foreign-Fellow reached our group of friends, who were a "safe zone" (again, Dream Logic), when I woke up.

I sat in bed for a while, partially confused, but laughing. Apparently, I can't even get laid in my dreams!

In conclusion:

No more romance shows before bed.

Catchy Title; Jazz Hat

Does anyone else remember when the internet used to be quite simple?

I do.

I realized today, as I was creating a blog entry, that my blogger account was under an email address that I don't use anymore. When I went to change it, I saw that it was actually the email address associated with my Google+ account.

I spent the next 15 minutes attempting to change my Primary email address for it. 15 minutes doesn't seem like much, but when those 15 minutes are spent in frustration and exasperation, a quarter of an hour feels like a quarter of a day. I don't know about you, but I like to spend a good 1/3 of my day sleeping. At this point, there were just too many fractions involved for me to even bother with anymore of the internet's nonsense.

After countless pages warning me that I am indeed deleting my profile when I click the "Delete My Profile" button, my information was successfully removed and I was free from the clutches of the multiple accounts I'd gained since signing my soul away to Google.

And what sweet freedom it was.
I could go anywhere, do anything.
I found out that I have legs which could take me to new places, places I've only seen in pictures on a screen. I got up and practiced using my rediscovered limbs.
I picked up a hat and looked in the mirror. I nearly mistook myself for one cool cat; I was one saxophone short of playing saxophone like a Jazz musician.

A thought occurred to me, then. If I were to venture out and visit these wonderful places, I'd need to know which direction to go in my travels. I sat myself down to do some research.

It should be obvious by now that I did not make use of my freedom.

Once I navigated the familiar clicks to Google, I was already hooked. I tried to use my new philosophy. I got so far as to research plane tickets to Italy. While planning this, I happened to wonder how airplanes fly. If I was going to be using this mode of transport to get me to my destinations, I should at least be aware of their inner workings.

A few clicks later, I found myself with 8 tabs open, and my old habits were back in the same rut they've been in since a good friend of mine first led me to the internet.